Wedding planning in general is a nightmare. For perfectionists, who want every single detail of the wedding to be perfect, it's even worse.
I am a perfectionist and planned my wedding this year. I am not going to lie, this was one of the most difficult tasks I've ever had to do. If you're a perfectionist and planning your wedding, I feel your pain and want to help you.
Here are some tips for wedding planning if you're a perfectionist like me:
1) Split planning with your partner: My husband split the wedding planning with me, pretty much 50/50. He found our venue online, he picked out our favors, he actually chose our color theme. He is obviously a keeper. If you are a perfectionist, you need help from your partner to plan so you don't have to worry about making every single detail perfect on your own. Assign him/her tasks, be confident that he/she will make the right choices. Plus, it's good for your partner to have a say in planning too!
2) Go with your gut when making decisions: There are a lot of decisions to make when planning a wedding. They can drive you crazy if you spend too much time thinking about them. Brooke Castillo, an amazing life coach teaches that decisions are made in an instant. All that time you spend thinking about what to decide doesn't count. Save yourself the energy, stress, migraines, and go with your gut. You probably already know if you like/don't like a vendor once you speak to them the first time. You probably already know what color flowers you like if you've looked at some pictures.
3) Consider the time you have to plan the wedding: Wedding planning is an enormous task. Think about the time you have during the year to plan. If you don't have a lot of time, don't pick a DIY venue where you have to hire a separate caterer and bring in furniture. You'll be ready to pull your hair out by the end.
4) Recognize what you can and cannot control: I spent a lot of time worrying about if it would rain on my wedding day. I also spent a lot of time worrying that I would have insomnia the night before my wedding. Although it's easier said than done, it's important to recognize that what is going to happen will happen. If it rains, it rains, you can't control it. If you can't sleep, you can't sleep. It doesn't mean the day will be ruined. In fact, you probably will forget about how tired you are with all the excitement!
5) Make a schedule for the day of and send it to your wedding party and close family: If you're a perfectionist like me, you're probably interested in to-do lists. I probably went a little overboard with my wedding day schedule (I got a lot of heat from the groomsmen on it lol), but having the schedule was SO helpful in making me feel calm. I knew what the day was going to look like, what time everything started and ended, I had it under control. Plus, it avoided a lot of questions from my family and wedding party. Everyone was clear on what was going on and when. To me, the schedule was a source of comfort and stability.
6) Make a list of things to bring to the rehearsal dinner and wedding: I made a list of things to bring for the wedding weekend (rehearsal dinner + wedding) and set everything out beforehand. This list made the wedding less stressful. I knew I had everything I needed, and that I could rely on my list -- another source of comfort.
7) Remember that it will be over in time: By the time my wedding came around, both my husband and I were so fed up with it that we just wanted it to be over. Between our full time jobs and wedding planning, we were burnt out. Looking back, it would have been comforting for me to recognize that our stress was temporary. Now that the wedding is over, we are so relieved that we don't have to plan! And we are so happy and relaxed to be married without the stress.
8) Trust that it will be beautiful: After my stressful year of planning, my wedding turned out to be the opposite -- mellow, fun, beautiful, stress-free. I would say it was perfect but I try not to use that word as a perfectionist :) No matter what you go through leading up to the wedding, the day of will be one of the best of your life. It's really true. I ended the wedding day thinking that all the stress and worrying I went through was MAYBE worth it. Maybe...
Here are some snapshots from what turned out to be our favorite day. Photo credit to Gustavo Tessaro! We highly recommend him as a photographer! He made us feel very confident and comfortable in front of the camera.
Remember, it will be beautiful!
Labels: anxiety, mental health, perfectionism, Wedding planning